Friday, December 30, 2011

Inner Beauty and the Verbal Beast

Ok, I am going to have a Peter Griffin "Grind my gears" moment. Why can there not be any positivity? "Person A"...I'll call them Debbie- Well, hello, Debbie Downer!- can speak nicely about, encourage and be supportive; but only of those who fall in line with what they like, their style and what they think the other person should do. If you go out of those lines then you better watch out!

Today I was excited to wear my new cowl neck striped sweater dress, corded leggings, double buckle belt and cowboy boots. The boots arent new, but I was made to feel so bad about them the first time I wore them that I didnt wear them again for over eight months.

I bought the boots after I was finally allowing myself to move forward with my life and was trying to figure out who I really even was after...well...the crap storm. Rather than being encouraged to take that step, I was actually ridiculed. I was "being fake" or "trying to impress/change for a guy" (BAHAHAHA!! riiiight.) and so on. This came from the people closest to me. I was incredibly wounded and it really set me back. I had loved the outfit I had worn; I actually felt like I looked good, was positive about myself. Those of you who have had children can certainly identify. (except you freaks of nature that look like you havent had a child at all. Happy for you but I hate it!!)

But back to my outfit today. I suppose- according to Debbie Downer- looking nice, making an effort in your appearance and taking pride in yourself as a person is a very terrible thing. I was given a very rude, slap-in-the-face comment about how I, to sum it up, was trying to strut around and be a super model; I even got a hint of an accusation that I was acting like a snob. It completely shattered my confidence.

I do not see confidence as a snobby thing and nor should anyone else. It should be celebrated!

Every woman should feel good and beautiful. One comes with the other. Every girl deserves to be told she is pretty and supported. She may not be your physical "type" (you may not be hers!) and her style and what she's into may not be yours, but it is what makes her "her", and that is Beautiful =)

So, no, Debbie Downer. I am not "trying" to be a super model. I'm being me, wearing what I love and makes me feel good about myself. I love my style. There's honestly no way I've ever been able to describe it. It is ever evolving. (which I also love)

"Change isnt necessarily good or bad. It just is." - Don Draper. I couldnt have said it better. For whom is my change bad, you or me? I get to decide that for myself and no "I told you so"s allowed!

Though Debbie still hurts my feelings and causes me to second guess myself...I am getting better at shrugging the comments off while still retaining my confidence. I have chosen to not surround myself with those that arent positive and encouraging towards me and the new person I am becoming. I've gotten to the point that I wont remain around someone who speaks down to me, whether I leave or they do. I'm not going to have that kind of influence in my life anymore. I cant. It wont allow me to change-whether its good or bad.

Be Beautiful =D


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